New Years Lists – FRC Team’s Worst Films of 2011
So yesterday we talked about the films we loved of 2011, the ones that left us a little or a lot different. Today we are talking about the films that made us plain angry, The WORST films of the year.
There has undoubtedly been a fair few stinkers this year, as with most years. I don’t think I have actually walked out of a theatre at all, but it has come close. Many of the films we have been most upset with have been subject of a very heavy marketing campaign. Maybe if the Production companies left a little to our imagination with the trailers and poster we may have different expectations when we go into the cinema. Just a thought.
Anyway I am waffling on, here are our pick of the films that left us wishing we hadn’t spent the money not only on the ticket, but also the parking, and popcorn….
FRC Team’s Worst Films of 2011
5 – Colombiana
You will see a common theme running through my least loved films. Quite often I have enjoyed a good trailer but then been left flat and empty by a shoddy story, Colombiana is a fine example of this. It starts off well but when we have to witness a free running child escaping from many cartel soldiers all belief goes out of the window. The whole story just did not work for me at all. I left the cinema almost to the point of swearing. Miss Saldana is pretty in the face but she really needs a good meal!!
4 – Sucker Punch
See here we go again. I bought into the trailer BIG time with this one. But when I got to the film I was just left with a mess that felt empty and made no sense. I wanted to like it but it felt like a teenage boys wet dream. Such a shame, as stylistically it is stunning.
3 – Cowboys & Aliens
My screening of this will probably go down as one of the worst ones I have had this year. I just wanted to leave after 30 mins, but I couldn’t get out as I was with friend and the cinema was fairly full. The film made little sense, but it also took itself far to seriously. It would have been much better as a straight Western. Also the Cowboys were very matter of fact about an alien race coming down to Earth. Awful.
2 – Battle L.A.
This just goes to prove that a big budget and lots of explosions doe not make a good film. I was hoping for Black Hawk Down meets Independence day, What I got was a bunch of OOH RAHHing marines and un believable Aliens. The musical score was so bad as well. Battle L.A. is like a serious version of Team America World Police!!
1 – Justice
Oh My Days!! I actually fell asleep in this one. Only for a couple of minutes but it was just SOOOO boring. I feel bad for Nic Cage as I could have so easily of had 3 of my 5 with him in (Season of the Witch and Trespass) but I had to be kind to the old goat. Add the awful acting skills of January Jones and you have a film that is worse than pulling teeth with a pair of pliers.
5 – Green Lantern
Stupid.Stupid.Stupid. Plus the fact that Thor and X Men: First Class was actually quite good, which made it seem even worse.
4 – The Dilemma
Kevin James and Vince Vaughn: probably the most annoying ‘comedy actors’ past their sell-by-date.
3 – Zookeeper
Not even the delightfully tasty Leslie Bibb can make this appealing. Her character stinks. The whole thing stinks like an unflushed turd. Plus it stars Kevin James. Enough said.
2 – Transformers 3
Awful self-indulgent garbage. Michael Bay does what he does best: makes a child’s toy sexualised, blows everything to smithereens, indulge in his favourite 360 and slow motion shots. I could go on, but I’ll stop before I begin to discuss the hour-long ‘final fight’ scene…
1 – Cowboys & Aliens
The biggest let down of 2011 for me. The trailer seemed rather good, but as The Village proved: a trailer can be mightily deceptive. This stinks. Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig look tired and confused throughout, and frankly I don’t blame them
5 – The Thing
I didn’t actually hate this film as much as I did the others on this list, but I did find it slightly pointless, boring and a little insulting to the original feature that it prequels and its source material. Mary Elizabeth Winstead was, however, its saving grace – she’s lovely. A waste of talent in a lacklustre movie.
4 – I Don’t Know How She Does It
Am I allowed to add in a film that I stopped watching after forty minutes because it was that bad? Sexist: check. Boring: check. Sarah Jessica Parking: infuriating and patronizing. I think that about sums it up. If anyone thinks I should watch the rest, please make your case now – I’m yet to be convinced.
3 – Limitless
I didn’t really want to see Limitless, so my opinion of it was doomed from the start. I think Bradley Cooper is awful, and his smug, pointy face makes me want to punch cute things. Limitless felt too long, too surfacey, and was more style than true substance.
2 – Horrible Bosses
I wanted to like this film so much. I love Jason Bateman, I have a huge crush on Jason Sudeikis, and anything with a cast member from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia will draw me in. It was too silly, not genuinely hilarious enough given its amusing premise, and a little try-hard – and Jennifer Aniston’s character was, quite frankly, terrifying. There were a lot of funnier, discerning mainstream comedies of 2011 – avoid this and pick up Bridesmaids or 50/50 instead.
1 – Source Code
Don’t get me wrong – I love myself a good popcorn movie, but Jake Gyllenhaal is not as convincing an action star as he wants to be. I found this film to be verbose, predictable and overall, disappointing, considering it was brought to us by the same man who gave us Moon. It left me cold.
This was a really difficult list to compile, I tend to avoid films that are not too my taste and receive bad reviews, and therefore I couldn’t think of a single film that has been released this year which did not have a single redeeming feature out of those I watched. I’m not saying that 2011 was an incredible year for films (although it has been pretty good!) but I have been very lucky in the films that I have seen. I also approach film criticism with a view that even if the overall product is not to my taste, I can appreciate great cinematography, original ideas, and solid acting if they exist in isolation. None of the films listed below are as bad as The Flintstones, Batman & Robin or Van Helsing and do all have at least one redeeming feature but they all left me disappointed and I doubt I will ever be watching them again:
This action film was okay to watch, with a large number of engaging and inventive action scenes but the storyline bordered on the ridiculous far too often, and I was forced to stifle my laughter numerous times which I am sure was not the director’s intentions.
Tarsem Singh’s The Fall is one of my favourite films, its breathtaking visuals and heartbreakingly poignant story is a testament to his skill as a director, and as such I was eager to see how he would follow this up. Whilst Immortals looked as stunning as The Fall, the story was muddled, the acting was stiff and it ultimately failed to entertain.
3. West is West
East is East was an excellent bitter-sweet comedy that never fails to have me in stitches. West is West was a dull and lifeless attempt to emulate the success of the original and it completely missed the mark. An insult to fans of the original.
2. The Silent House
This horror film from Uruguay was supposedly filmed in one entire take which would be an impressive feat if the film was worth watching. The story is contrived with a ridiculous twist that is a shame when considering the intriguing premise. This is one found footage film too far, and that is coming from a huge horror fan. I bought this on blu-ray as well, what a waste of my hard-earned cash!
1. Fair Game
Fair game gets the accolade of the most boring film I have seen this year. The trailer sold it as a political thriller with heaps of action but it was a dull drama that failed to engage me or the person sitting next to me in the cinema who did the right thing and fell asleep. Naomi Watts and Sean Penn are two great actors but even their solid performances were not enough to rescue the film, it would be wise to avoid Fair Game at all costs.
What were your worst films for the year? Have we missed any? Comment below…